That Thing You’re Hiding Is What People Actually Want | 001

Free weekly pattern observation

Welcome to the first issue of Patterns in Becoming...

I’m documenting the patterns I’m seeing across my conversations.

And here’s the first one that keeps showing up.

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The Pattern

You know that moment when someone asks what you do and you reach for your credentials first?

Not what you love. Not what lights you up. The resume.

I’ve been sitting with this pattern for months now. Watching it show up in conversation after conversation. And what I keep seeing is... people lead with their armor. The credentials, the titles, the proof of competence.

The person with the PhD who makes pottery but doesn’t mention it. The strategist who writes poetry but leads with “I do strategic planning.” The sailor who introduces themselves as “Account Manager.”

I don’t know if this is protective or performative or just what we learned to do. Maybe all three. But I keep seeing it.

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The Map

So I mapped the terrain. Here’s what I’m seeing when this pattern shows up.

The Plateau

High ground built from degrees and titles and years of experience. It’s visible. Defensible. Safe.

But also barren. You’re standing on what you’ve already done instead of what you’re drawn to now.

The Harbor

Professional identity anchored in calm water. “Consultant.” “Director.” “Senior Whatever.”

A constructed bay that keeps the judgment out. But the thing you actually want to do? That’s anchored way offshore where it feels safer to hide it.

The Canyon

This shows up when people over-explain. You have presence. Credibility. But instead of just standing there, you start justifying. The methodology. The science. The proof.

I’ve watched people spend hours on a simple video introduction. Digging deeper with every take until the human disappears into the explanation.

The Capped Volcano

Looks normal and professional on the surface. But underneath there’s this whole world of interests that got sealed off.

The consultant into esoteric philosophy. The corporate trainer who collects vintage arcade games. The strategist obsessed with mythology.

All this interesting stuff, pretending it’s not there.

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What This Has to Do with Becoming

This pattern shows up most in transition. When you’re leaving something but haven’t arrived at the next thing yet.

You just left the corporate job but your consulting practice doesn’t feel real yet. You’re building something creative but it’s not paying the bills yet. You know you’re not who you were, but you don’t know who you’re becoming yet.

And in that gap... the credentials feel safer than the essence.

The plateau of past achievements is solid ground. The thing you’re becoming? That’s just a feeling. A pull. A vague sense of direction that doesn’t have proof that it works.

So you lead with what’s proven. Because the alternative is standing there and saying “I don’t know exactly what I’m doing yet, but I love this thing and I’m following it.”

And that feels terrifying when you’re in the messy middle.

You can’t become the sailor while standing on the plateau of “Account Executive.”

You can’t become the artist while hiding in the canyon of explanations. You can’t become the weird, interesting version of yourself while keeping the volcano capped.

Becoming requires letting go of the proven ground and walking on the uncertain terrain of what you actually love.

That’s why this pattern matters. Not because credentials are wrong, but because they keep you anchored to who you were instead of who you’re becoming.

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Can You Spot Yourself?

So here’s the question.

Where are you on this terrain?

Standing on a plateau of past achievements? Anchored in a harbor of safe titles? Digging canyons of over-explanation? Sitting on a capped volcano?

Once you see the map, you start catching yourself.

“Oh. I just led with my credentials again instead of that thing I actually care about.”

And that moment of recognition... that’s where you get a choice.

I’m still mapping what happens after that choice. But at least now you can see where you’re standing.

And once you see it, you can’t unsee it.

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This was the free weekly observation

Every Saturday, you get one pattern observation like this. The 30,000-foot view that helps you spot where you are in the terrain.

Paid subscribers get maps to navigate the pattern.

Once a month, I take one pattern observation and show you what’s underneath. The mechanics. The beliefs. Examples you can test against your own experience.

Not just “oh I do that” but “ohhh, THAT’S why I do that and here’s where it shows up... is it helpful to me?”

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